


Dream in a Dream

by VanishedElf



Series: Dancing with Tencas [2]
Category: SuperM, WAYV
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, LuTen, M/M, Mark is a shit disturber, SuperM ensemble - Freeform, TenCas, WayV Ensemble - Freeform, also lowkey tenwin vibes, lowkey taeten vibes, ongoing smut, yukten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21784549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanishedElf/pseuds/VanishedElf
Summary: Now Lucas and Ten know they like to fuck each other. In Lucas's mind this is simple, but not simple in the way most people would expect.Nothing about Ten has ever been simple.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Series: Dancing with Tencas [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569946
Comments: 45
Kudos: 322





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part two is written. It will be edited and posted next week.

"So you and Lucas..."

Ten looked up from his book, glasses poised on his nose, and caught Mark's eye.

Ten's short black hair was brushed back neatly from his face and he was dressed in a cream button-down with threads of navy blue running vertically through the fabric. The two of them were sitting next to a sunny window, reading—well, _Ten_ was reading, and Mark was dicking around on his phone, waiting for the others to finish up with the photoshoot.

"You guys... share a room in the WayV dorms, right?"

"Yes?"

Mark's mouth curled into a little smile. "So what's that like. You know. Sleeping in the same bed."

Ten stared at him in disbelief. "No," he said, waving a hand in front of his face. "We aren't having this conversation."

Mark pouted. "You're no fun anymore. You used to be the biggest perv. Now you act so pure all the time it's boring."

"I'm still a perv," Ten exclaimed loudly.

Mark cackled. Ten glanced over his shoulder, straightening his shirt. A staff member was sitting on a couch across the studio. The way he was flipping through pages of their schedule seemed a little forced.

"I want some juicy details."

"What happened to you being too embarrassed and shy and grossed out to talk about this kind of stuff?" Ten hissed.

"Grossed out? I was never grossed out."

"So what's..."

"I told you I'm supportive of gayness and shit and I just want to know, like, what kind of stuff goes on, when people get... like, naked, and—"

"Mark if you don't lower your voice I swear to god—"

"Jongin's really hot."

Mark blinked in confusion, as if he weren't sure it was really him who'd just said those words. Ten covered his mouth with a hand.

"And like, you're hot." Mark raked his eyes up and down Ten's body, lightning fast.

There was a pause; and then, Mark made a weird squealing noise and scrunched his eyes closed, rattling out a nervous rhythm under the table with his sneakers. Ten exploded into laughter.

"But like, what am I supposed to—"

"Would you look at that?" Ten rested his chin in his hand, gazing at Mark with a sweet smile. "It's gay curiosity time for Mark Lee."

"Dude this is seriously a problem," Mark moaned. "I'm not a forever alone, workaholic type guy like you. I actually want to find someone one day, and if I'm like, into dudes, this is gonna get seriously complicated."

Ten blinked.

"I mean, I've found girls hot before. I've watched hetero porn."

"Mark," Ten sighed. "It's fine. You might be bisexual. You might be straight. A couple gay thoughts doesn't make you gay."

"What do you mean?"

Ten stared out the window. He didn't look very amused. His eyes eventually slid back to Mark's and he inhaled deeply.

"You can try stuff out. It isn't going to hurt you. Trying stuff out in your head is especially harmless. Just don't... fuck with people's feelings along the way."

"What?" Mark cried. "How can you even say that? You're like, the biggest player I know."

Ten massaged his temples. He was still having a hard time believing this conversation was even happening.

"Flirtation is different from playing. Besides, half these guys deserve to be played a little. If they're so curious they should keep their experiments amongst themselves. Have like, a jerk circle, bro, or a porn party or something—"

"Ten—"

"It's fine." Ten's saccharine smile was back, gleaming and cold as the winter sun. He reached forward and took Mark's hands. "Everything is going to be fine, dear Marky-Mark. Besides, you don't have to worry about fucking with people's feelings because you have me; the ultimate sounding board. We can even make out sometime if you'd like, see how deep those feelings go—"

Mark's concerned expression transmogrified into panic so fast Ten felt like he was watching a video clip where the buffering glitched, skipping a section of action that made the transition feel more natural. Mark yanked his hands away and left Ten floundering in his chair, fanning his face as tears of mirth spilled from his eyes.

"Dude!" Mark yelled.

Ten thought he might hyperventilate from laughing. It was on Mark's third round of high, nervous giggles that he finally got himself together.

"I don't want to be forever alone," Mark said pitifully.

"For the love of god, you're twenty years old," Ten gasped. "You're going to be fine."

The others returned from the photoshoot not long after. The concept was 'classy summer,' a contrast to the darker, modernistic imagery they'd presented as a group so far. Baekhyun had freshened up the pink in his hair. Taeyong was dressed in a tiny t-shirt that reminded Ten of his Halloween costume this year. Taemin was wearing a white button-down underneath a suit jacket that cut off above the elbows. Jongin was dressed in a sleeveless, pastel turtleneck and tight shorts. Ten's eyes slid down Jongin's tall body and then to Mark, who was turning a deeper shade of crimson by the minute.

Ten snickered to himself.

But the revenge wasn't as sweet as usual. He found himself staring out the window again. He jumped when a big hand landed on his shoulder.

He turned around and found himself staring into Lucas's enormous brown eyes.

"Hey," Lucas said, smiling. "We're done now."

"I know."

"How was your reading?"

"Fine." Ten stood up. "Are we leaving? I'm hungry."

***

Christmas season was kicking up and because WayV was performing at several award shows, everybody was confined to the SM dorms for most of December. It was incredible how many boys could coexist in one facility, and yet, at the end of the day, Ten wished there were more. How about three to a room—five, six? A big sleepover in a common area, every night: even better.

_I'm not a forever alone, workaholic type guy like you_

Ten spent his evenings in front of a computer in the studio, recording bits and pieces of future tracks, studying Korean, reading webcomics late into the night. By the time he tiptoed back to his room, which housed not three, five, or six boys, but only one, very particular boy, that boy was often already asleep. Sometimes Ten didn't go back at all, crashing on the couch in the studio instead.

_I actually want to find someone one day, and if I'm like, into dudes, this is gonna get seriously complicated_

Mark was right about one thing at least: life was complicated as fuck.

Ten decided to get Taeyong involved in his solo project. They spent whatever free time they had refining choreography in the studio, getting the blocking down, working out a rap section for Taeyong.

"Wow," Taeyong remarked. "It's almost eleven."

"We could go over it one more time."

"Ten, my body is going to disintegrate."

"Fine, fine." Ten walked over and started massaging Taeyong's shoulders. "Do you want to order food?"

"I don't know if I want to eat this late."

"In my mind, the night has just begun."

Taeyong glanced at Ten over his shoulder. "Do you ever sleep, man?"

Ten shrugged.

"Lucas says you don't."

"When did he say that?"

"Oh, I don't know. We hang out sometimes."

"Cute."

Ten kneaded Taeyong's shoulders, keeping his eyes fixed on his work. He could feel Taeyong's eyes on his face.

"You really do look tired. Here, let me get you instead."

"No, it's fine—"

Taeyong pushed Ten down onto the floor and settled down behind him. Ten's protests died off the second Taeyong's fingers made contact with his back.

"You don't have to be perfect you know."

"Oh no, this must be serious," Ten said softly, his voice broken by weak little groans of pleasure. "You're using your leader voice."

"Even though you are," Taeyong continued. "Perfect, that is. You really don't have anything to worry about. This new song of yours is going to be amazing."

Ten smiled, his eyes closed.

"It's okay to let your guard down sometimes. Sometimes it makes your art even better."

"What are you getting at, Hyung?"

Taeyong was quiet for a while. The side of Ten's sneaker squeaked repeatedly against the floor as Taeyong pushed him forward, working on his lower back in even pulses.

"Lucas's Korean really is improving," Taeyong said eventually. "And he's been teaching me phrases in Cantonese for fun."

"Wow. You two really have been hanging out."

"People write him off as a goof, but he really is an interesting guy." Taeyong tilted his head to the side, working on a knot on the side of Ten's neck. "Imagine operating in what—four or five different languages? I mean, you know what that's like, but I think you have a better grip on it than him. Still, he seems natural. Relaxed. You don't find that in many people in this industry." Taeyong paused. "You certainly don't find that in me."

"Or me." Ten hated how raw his voice sounded.

"Don't sell yourself short. You have it too—that inward possession. You can see it in the way you hold yourself. Everyone is jealous of you, you know that right?"

"That's because of my dancing."

Taeyong ran his palm up Ten's back, bottom to top, all the way past his neck and through his hair. Ten shivered.

"You need to get out of your own way," Taeyong murmured. "You need to trust yourself and let yourself want what you want."

Ten hummed.

"Isn't that what you've always done anyway? And look at the results."

"You're too nice to me, Hyung."

But it was true.

The only difference was that, in the past, the things Ten wanted were simple. Success. Skill. Performance. Things that were up to him, things he could control more directly. In the past, it was simpler because Ten actually knew what he wanted.

Now he wasn't so sure.

"You're a good leader, Hyung. Good at getting things done, good with people. And really talented too. I think you should be the leader of SuperM instead. I don't think Baekhyun would even mind that much."

Taeyong chuckled. "You need to sleep. You're babbling."

"You, go." Ten hauled himself to his feet and yawned, patting Taeyong on the head. "I'm going to finish up here first."

"But—"

Ten ran his fingers through Taeyong's thick, blond hair, and smiled. Taeyong stared up at him. Ten could almost hear the thoughts coursing through his mind. He, like Ten, liked things to be a certain way, and found it personally insulting when they ended up going differently.

"You know arguing with me is futile."

Taeyong heaved a sigh, and pulled himself to his feet. "I know."

"Yes." Ten pumped his fist. "I won."

If crawling into bed at three a.m. every night, faded and high on caffeine was winning, Ten truly was bringing it home.

***

"Nice to see you," Ten said, bowing deep.

Jimin and Hoseok bowed in return. Ten's eyes played upon Jimin's jacket. "You look so good in sparkles."

"Your dancing is inspiring," Jimin replied. "The piece you and WinWin did this year kept me up at night."

"Might I be speaking to a fellow insomniac?"

"He's bad," Hoseok cackled, gripping Jimin's shoulder. "He needs to learn how to put his phone away."

"Hyung." Jimin started to giggle. "Stop it, that's embarrassing."

Ten sauntered past the refreshment table and collapsed into a chair. WinWin sat down beside him.

"Chatting with BTS?"

"Little bit." Ten rolled his shoulder in its socket. "God damn it my joints are sore."

"Here." WinWin shuffled a little closer and began to rub Ten's shoulder. His fingers were more tentative than Taeyong's, a little shy.

A loud burst of laughter echoed over from across the room. Ten and WinWin's heads turned. Lucas was commanding a loud toast to WayV's future, cheersing half-empty water bottles with Hendery, Kun, and Xiaojun. Water splashed all over the floor a minute later and a stage hand rushed over to wipe it up. Lucas apologized at least six times. YangYang laughed and pointed shamelessly.

"How can he always be so chill?" Ten muttered.

"Hmm?" WinWin said.

Ten's eyes flickered back to WinWin's face. WinWin smiled his classic closed-lip smile, as if to say, _What? Was there a problem?_

"It's okay," Ten said, patting WinWin's leg. "I'm just spouting nonsense. Preshow jitters."

"Ah. Okay." WinWin's smile softened to something actually believable.

Ten resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

WinWin had always been like that. Fretful. Passive. Easily assuaged. Not because he was simple; in fact, it was probably due to his sensitive mind that he often chose to pass rather than to dig deeper into the shit.

Unlike some people...

Ten glowered at the floor, thinking of Mark, and then glowered at Lucas's back, and then hated himself a little bit. He thought about asking WinWin to go harder, but he also didn't want to make things any weirder than they had to be.

"Okay, load up!" the stage manager yelled. Ten and WinWin stood up in unison, and Ten gave WinWin's hand a squeeze.

"Thanks," he said. "That was really nice."

"Don't worry about it."

Ten's sleep deprived mind spun in circles.

Some things weren't interesting or beautiful when they broke—only sad, and the only thing Ten hated more than boredom was tragedy. WinWin was delicate. He was also one of the only people whose delicate nature Ten respected. Part of it had to do with the reason why he was the way he was. He felt too much, not too little. He was an artist, one of Ten's own.

"Get in position, please!"

But WinWin hadn't always been so careful. He desperately wanted things to be okay, yes, but he was also drawn in by life's rarities, enough to be stung by his curiosity once or twice.

_Have I been stung?_

The platform began to rise and Ten's mind went blank. The music for the Moonwalk intro sequence began and then there was only movement.

***

Lucas was lying in bed, watching footage from the MAMAs on his phone when he heard the doorknob turn. He glanced at the clock in confusion. Ten burst through the door a second later, bundled in a black hoodie and pyjama pants, clutching a pillow. Lucas's brow furrowed even deeper.

"You're back early."

"It's one o'clock in the morning."

"Yeah, well." Lucas set his phone down. "When was the last time you were back here before three?"

Ten stormed to the bed and threw his pillow at the mattress. He disappeared into the washroom. Lucas heard various clunking noises. There was a scraping sound, a splash, and then a muted _FUCK._

"Did you drop your hairbrush in the toilet again?"

Ten swore. The tap started to run. Lucas barely managed to wipe the smirk off his face before Ten came barrelling back into the bedroom. He flicked the lights off on his way to the bed and threw himself down like a sack of bricks.

"Hey, now it's all dark—"

"I swear to god, Lucas, if I don't get some sleep sometime soon I'm going to lose it." Ten's voice was high and tight. It almost sounded like he was about to burst into tears. "All of my joints are screaming and my back feels awful, and we have another performance in two days—"

"Whoa, whoa," Lucas said, rolling over.

"I tried to sleep in the studio but someone, I think it was Jeno, and maybe Jisung, were goofing around next door and the sound carried and I'm already so tired it's like my brain's forgotten how to shut off, I don't know what's going to happen if—"

"Hey." Lucas rested his hand on Ten's shoulder. "It's going to be alright. Did you have any caffeine tonight?"

"A bit of coffee, before the show..."

"Well, we don't have to get up for anything tomorrow. You can take your time falling asleep and get all the rest you need. Lucky, huh?"

Ten's breathing was quick.

"I was just about to drop off too. Here, I'll turn off my lamp."

"Mm." Ten exhaled slowly. "Okay."

Lucas plugged his phone in and rolled onto his side. Ten opened the side drawer and retrieved his earplugs. Lucas closed his eyes. He heard Ten's breathing get soft and steady almost right away.

***

It was a timeless sleep, where the hours seemed to go on forever. Ten woke only once, parched; he trudged to the bathroom, chugged a cup of water, and tumbled back to sleep the minute he lay back down. The next time he opened his eyes it was noon.

Lucas was propped up in bed, reading something off his phone. A beam of sunlight snuck through the curtains, lighting up the top of his head like a halo.

"The brown looks good on you," Ten muttered.

Lucas started. 

Ten dragged himself up, drank more water, and brushed his teeth. Lucas looked astonished when he reappeared, still in his pyjamas, and crawled back into bed. He burrowed under the covers and rested his cheek on a pillow, gazing languidly up at Lucas.

"Did we really perform at MAMA last night?"

Lucas nodded.

"It feels like a dream."

"Maybe it was," Lucas said, setting his phone on the nightstand. "Maybe you've really been asleep for a week and everything you remember is just a series of incepted fantasies."

"Don't fuck with me," Ten laughed, smacking Lucas's arm.

Lucas's skin was hot. Ten's fingers lingered, sliding down his forearm until they rested on his wrist. Lucas swallowed.

"You seem back to yourself," Lucas said.

"I slept amazingly."

"That's great."

Ten hummed. Lucas's eyes flickered down to his mouth.

"Is it wrong that all I can think about is getting you off right now?"

Lucas's eyes widened.

"Would that be okay?" Ten asked earnestly.

"Hold up, you want to—"

Ten slid his fingers underneath Lucas's belt, playing with the buckle. Lucas still looked like he wasn't sure if he'd heard Ten right, but all the same, he moved his hips forward, giving him more room. Lucas's belt opened with a satisfying _clack._

"I love how it takes like, nothing to get you hard," Ten breathed, scratching affectionately at Lucas's pubes.

"Yeah, well," Lucas grunted. "I like to come prepared."

Ten giggled, and then wrapped his lips around the head of Lucas's cock. Lucas's grunt was more drawn out this time, breaking off into a sigh. Ten swirled his tongue, sucking leisurely at the tip, and Lucas actually whined.

"Cutie," Ten muttered.

Lucas stroked the back of Ten's head with trembling fingers. One of Ten's forearms rested heavily across Lucas's thighs. The other pushed up against his chest. Lucas moaned and squirmed against the headboard, pinned in place, as Ten's head bobbed innocuously in his lap.

"Hey," Lucas rasped. "Hey, m-move, I'm gonna—"

Ten sucked until his cheeks hollowed. Lucas's thighs tensed hard underneath his forearm. A hot gush of liquid filled Ten's mouth and he swallowed, giving Lucas's length another pump. Lucas choked, pulling his hips back, and Ten pulled off, wincing slightly.

"Does it taste bad?"

"Not bad." Ten swallowed again. "Just interesting. It's been a while since I've done that."

Lucas looked embarrassed. "I told you to move."

"If I minded, do you think I'd still be this hard?" Ten rolled onto his back and stuck his hand down his pyjama bottoms. "I'm just gonna take care of this if you don't mind."

Lucas kissed him.

Of course he wouldn't be the type to care about tasting himself in someone else's mouth. Their tongues swirled like a hurricane. Ten wriggled out of his pyjama pants. Lucas got the lube. Ten rode Lucas's fingers until Lucas was hard again, and then he sat down on that instead.

"Oh, god," Ten panted.

Every sensation was excruciatingly vivid in his rejuvenated state. The room blazed with sunlight. Little beads of sweat had begun to form on Lucas's forehead. Ten wiped them away and examined his fingers. He wondered if his own pupils were as dilated as Lucas's.

Lucas rolled his hips.

Ten bit hard at Lucas's shoulder to stop himself from crying out. Lucas did it again. Both their bodies shuddered. Ten could hardly breathe.

"Oh _fuck._ "

Lucas was on his back now, eyes closed. His mouth was open and panting, the tendons in his neck strained. His hairline was damp.

He opened his eyes and caught Ten staring.

"Like what y-you see?"

Ten closed his eyes.

"Are you blushing?"

Ten covered his face with his hands. Lucas pulled them away and pinned Ten's arms to his sides.

"Why?" Ten whispered.

"I want to see you." Lucas kept his gaze fixed on Ten's face, even as his thrusts sped up, his face contorting from exertion. "I always want to see you, want a-all of it, _fuck—_ "

Ten gasped, tossing his head back. His cock slapped against Lucas's abs with each thrust. It was dripping precum on both of them and achingly hard and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Can I please touch myself?" he breathed.

Lucas let go of one of his wrists. Ten grabbed his cock, cursing in relief, and starting stroking. He could still feel Lucas's eyes. "Oh fuck, fuck—" Lucas's grip on his other wrist tightened. Ten came all over himself, screaming silently into the open air.

Lucas went to open a window.

"Oh god..."

The bed was a tangled mess of pyjamas, sheets, and pillows. Lucas's hand lingered idly around the base of his cock. The tip was pink and swollen. Ten admired it through lazy eyes. His head was propped up on a scrunched up blob of duvet.

"Ready for round three?"

"I could," Lucas challenged.

"Oh god," Ten laughed. "I'm almost tempted."

They were quiet for a while. A cool breeze wandered in the window. Lucas's smirk faded. He played with a loose thread sticking out of the duvet.

"What have you been up to these days?"

"Singing. Dancing. Living the dream."

"All night long, huh?"

"Lucas." Ten's voice was surprisingly soft. "The reason I've been avoiding you is because every time we're around each other _this_ happens."

Lucas frowned. "It doesn't have to."

"Oh, I know you don't care. You're chill with most things, but I'm not like that."

Lucas stared at the wall for a long moment. Then, he rolled away and stood up. Ten watched in silence as he got dressed.

"Where are you going?"

Lucas turned around. He inhaled, as if to speak, and then stopped. He shook his head, and then walked towards the door.

"Lucas—"

The door closed with a _click._

***

Ten found himself yearning for the SuperM tour to start up again. Lost in the sea of awards season, the tour felt like a distant oasis; one solo hotel room after the next, where there was plenty of privacy and people always got good sleeps and everything was simple.

But had it ever really been simple?

"Why is SM such a big company," Mark sighed. "The dorms are so far apart, and older groups don't always sleep in their dorms anyway."

Apparently Ten wasn't the only one missing their days with SuperM.

"Missing your eye candy?"

"He's more than eye candy," Mark whispered loudly. "He's a friggin god."

Ten laughed, despite himself.

"What's new with you?"

"Nothing," Ten remarked. "Truly nothing."

"Same," Mark sighed, stirring his soup.

The door to the common area opened. Taeyong and Lucas appeared. Taeyong's eyes zeroed in on their table and he headed towards them. Lucas turned around and exited the way he'd come.

"You recorded your rap?" Ten asked, coercing his face into a smile.

"It's done," Taeyong said.

"I'll listen to it tonight."

"Let me know what you think."

"You two are so slick, with all your slick collabs," Mark said.

Taeyong picked up a pair of chopsticks. "We should write something together." He poked Mark's shoulder. "An epic rap track or something."

"Oh man, that would be dope."

Ten drifted into his own thoughts.

Three more nights of awards shows and galas were playing on his mind, and not just because of the sleeping arrangements that followed. Somehow, despite lying down every night beside someone who refused to speak to him beyond the barest, politest, and coldest of necessities, Ten was actually getting half-decent sleeps.

He'd schmoozed more with BTS, Seventeen, Mamamoo, and GOT7. He'd chatted with producers, directors, upcoming rookies. He'd discussed dance with famous choreographers, and collapsed into bed later, so thoroughly drained of his social capacities he probably couldn't have had a conversation even if Lucas had wanted to.

Some things worked out.

Others didn't.

He'd rested his hand on Minghao's forearm. He'd exchanged winks with Jackson. He'd dissolved into another fit of giggles with Jimin. He'd spoken to dozens of men over the course of three days, and as usual he'd had a blast, but there was no denying that something had changed.

It wasn't a complete unveiling.

He'd always been aware of it on some level. These flirtations operated behind a boundary—an invisible 'do not cross' line that Ten had quickly learned to respect from a young age. The only difference was that now, instead of being plain white, someone had painted it a blinding highlighter yellow, and it was giving Ten a headache.

Of course it wasn't _always_ like that.

Surely there were others like him, for whom these lines were learned, to keep secrets hidden, rather than enforced, to avoid awkward 'mistakes' from occurring.

There was a time when WinWin had wanted him. WinWin had known it. Ten had known it, even if WinWin closed up tight on camera. Ten didn't blame him. It was hard to escape the line, even when neither person truly saw the point in it.

WinWin wasn't the only one. Ten was sure Taeyong would've made out with him if it could've been guaranteed that nobody would find out. Ten adored both boys immensely but none of them, himself included, were up to the challenge of taking things further.

The stakes were too high.

He met other idols along the way who looked a little too long, who got a little too flustered. He commiserated silently, but never let himself go there. It was like having your wings clipped before you know what flying feels like. In his mind, his desires were harmless if he gave them to his art. Anything outside of it, even blatant flirtation, would fall as empty gesture so long as he put his art first, and in that sense, he remained invincible.

But then he met somebody different.

Somebody who never seemed to care what others were thinking. Somebody who never needed persuading.

When Ten was around Lucas, it was a different kind of fear. It was like being thrown into a windstorm and being told to fly, _now_. If he opened his wings and let the wind take him, there was no telling where he might end up.

Lucas was fearless. Lucas loved freely. Lucas made Ten feel like he could express things to a human being that he'd only previously been capable of expressing through his art.

But Lucas wasn't talking to him right now, and Ten wasn't good at apologies.

It was hard not to feel like all of his nightmares were coming true.


	2. Chapter 2

Ten didn't even know why alcohol was allowed in the dorms.

Almost everyone in NCT was a lightweight. Jaehyun could barely get through a couple drinks before the weird jokes began. Doyoung almost always ended up puking. Even so, 127 decided to throw a Christmas party in the common area to celebrate WayV's success with the Best New Asian Artist award, and Taeil was pouring everybody soju. When he tried to hand a shot to Kun, Kun shook his head, his eyes going wide in a dramatic smile.

Ten stood next to the fridge with WinWin and Xiaojun, sipping a lager and watching Mark pour Taeyong a miniscule glass of beer from his own bottle. Taeyong took a sip and Mark examined his face carefully. Taeyong gave him a little shove, laughing.

"I'm not drunk yet, dude."

"Well, take it easy." Mark eyed Taeyong's glass apprehensively. "This stuff is only four percent, but you never know..."

"Wanna go drink soju with Doyoung?" Xiaojun asked.

WinWin looked at Ten.

"Why not," Ten said.

Doyoung had joined Taeil at the shots table. A second bottle of soju had made its way out of the fridge. Johnny and Jaehyun stood nearby, already red in the face. Yuta watched from the sidelines.

Ten, WinWin, and Xiaojun wandered over. Doyoung pushed a shot towards each of them and Ten pounded his immediately.

"God," he choked. "Is that strawberry flavour?"

WinWin's eyes went wide. "Ooooooh."

"Oh right, fruits," Taeil said. "I forgot."

Ten scrambled desperately for his beer and chugged. Yuta cackled. Ten wiped his eyes, and then came around the table and slapped a hand down on Yuta's shoulder.

"Spectators don't get to laugh." He slid a shot towards Yuta. "Here you go."

Yuta stared at him. Ten stared back. Yuta sighed and picked the shot up, sipping it. "Oh," he remarked. "That's actually really good."

"Disgusting," Ten muttered under his breath.

WinWin and Xiaojun were still recovering from their laughing fit. Doyoung poured them another round.

"We should play a game," Ten said, clapping his hands together. "Make this more interesting."

"What about beer pong?"

"I'll go get cups."

Ten was rifling through the cupboard when he heard a familiar laugh. He glanced over his shoulder. Lucas had come in with the rest of the guys from WayV. He had one hand around a beer, the other around YangYang's shoulders. It was the first time Ten had seen him smile in days. He grabbed a stack of cups and hurried back to the table.

"These are all different sizes."

"Yeah, and they're all we have." Ten arranged the cups into two very uneven triangles. "Who wants to go first? Rock paper scissors."

"Can I play?" Taeyong asked, bouncing over.

"Only if you drink water instead of beer," Doyoung said. "Hey, what's that in your hand? Who let you have alcohol?"

"Oh my god, I'm not _that_ much of a lightweight—"

"Mark, if you get him drunk, I swear to god you're gonna be the one taking care of him."

Mark groaned, but only half-heartedly.

"I wanna play."

Ten's eyes jolted upwards.

Lucas arranged himself at the other end of the table. There was a chorus of _ooooohhhs._

"We're all fucked," Taeil muttered.

The match began.

Lucas and Taeyong played against Ten and Mark in the first round. Lucas sank three cups in a row. Mark threw the pingpong ball directly at Johnny's head and swore he'd been aiming at a cup. Taeyong sank another.

Ten's ball bounced off the table and landed on the floor. "That's to be expected," he muttered, shaking his head. He examined his bottle of beer, which was almost empty.

Lucas sank their final cup to a chorus of roars and high-fives. YangYang started rearranging the cups. Ten caught Lucas by the arm before the next round of rock paper scissors commenced.

"Can I talk to you?"

Lucas stared at him. Ten's heart pounded in his chest.

Lucas shrugged. "Sure. Why not."

"Let's go on a walk."

"I'll be right back, guys," Lucas said to the table.

They filed out of the room. Lucas stared at the ground, making zero effort to conceal his stormy expression. Ten tossed around innocent smiles for the both of them, probably making the whole thing even more suspicious—not that half of them didn't already know the two of them were fighting. Dance practices with WayV had been especially tense. WinWin caught his eye on the way out and almost looked relieved.

Lucas walked. Ten followed. They eventually arrived at a stairwell leading down to the cafeteria. Lucas leaned against the railing and crossed his arms.

"Should've brought some beers with us." Ten laughed awkwardly. "Would've made this feel a lot more festive."

Lucas was silent.

"Okay." Ten took a deep breath. "I suck at saying sorry. But, I'm sorry."

More silence.

"To be honest with you I don't even know what I did to piss you off, which maybe makes it even more stupid that I waited this long to talk to you about it." Ten inhaled deeply and held it. "I'm sorry about that too."

Lucas sighed.

"Um. Lucas? I don't know what else to say. Can you please tell me why you're mad at me?"

"It's simple." Lucas looked up and met his eye. "I'm an easygoing guy, but I'm not _chill_ about everything."

"Oh gosh, you mean what I said when—"

"People are always oversimplifying me." Lucas's voice was laboured. "And that's okay, because I don't mind being the funny guy most of the time, but there _are_ things I really care about. Like my career, and..."

Ten's eyes were bright. "And?"

"Man." Lucas shook his head, dropping his gaze to the side. "We've had a few good fucks. Big deal. At the end of the day what sucks most about this is that we're going through all this epic shit together and we can't even talk about it. WayV is really getting there. And like, SuperM? What even is that." He wiped his nose. "I want to be able to talk to you about it. I want to be able to talk to my best friend about epic shit in my life."

"Well..."

Lucas's eyes slid back up to Ten's and the excuse he'd been formulating fell to pieces.

"I'm sorry," he said flatly.

"You once said to me that the reason you don't fuck around is because people get weird about it. I mean, come on." Lucas let out a bitter laugh. "Look in the mirror."

"I'm really sorry."

Lucas looked a little awkward. Maybe he hadn't expected Ten to give in so easily. Ten certainly hadn't expected to.

Ten took a few steps forward. Lucas's eyes were big and intense. Ten made a little wincing face, and then dropped his gaze. He knew that if he kept looking Lucas in the eye he wouldn't have the guts to touch him.

He wrapped his arms around Lucas's torso. Lucas grunted. Ten held on tight. After a moment, Lucas hugged him back.

"God damn it."

"I miss you," Ten said.

Lucas's voice was barely a whisper. "Me too."

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

Ten shook his head. "I'm not sure."

"Am I scary?"

"No," Ten laughed. He paused. His smile was wildly serene given the fact that his heart was slamming so violently he could feel his pulse in his neck. "I think I'm scared of not knowing myself as well as I thought I did."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, being afraid of things I wasn't always afraid of." Ten drew a circle on Lucas's back. "Liking things I didn't always like."

"Haven't you always kind of liked this sort of thing?"

Ten sighed. "I didn't know I liked it _so much._ "

He found himself clinging to Lucas's jacket. He honestly didn't know what would happen if Lucas walked away right now. The fluorescent lighting in the stairwell was far too bright. He buried his face in Lucas's shoulder.

"I can't explain it." His voice was muffled. "It's like you make me feel free."

Ten should've known what was going to happen next. Lucas reached down and cupped Ten's face in his hands. Ten didn't even try to stop him. He stood there, breath shallow, face burning and eyes watering as Lucas examined him.

"I'm a mess."

"You're beautiful."

Lucas leaned down and kissed him, softly. Ten brushed his lips over Lucas's cheek, and then kissed him again.

It was like the world didn't exist.

"I'm jealous of you," Ten confessed.

The two of them were sitting in the bathtub. Lucas's long limbs barely fit. Ten was tangled in his lap, facing him. They hadn't made it back to beer pong. They'd barely made it out of the stairwell.

"I wish I could be more chill about things. The truth is, I'm afraid that if I let myself go, everything will fall apart."

"Falling apart isn't so bad, if it isn't all the time."

"I guess." Ten sighed wistfully. "Maybe one day I'll be more free."

"From what?"

Ten gestured to himself.

"Hey," Lucas whispered, collecting Ten in his arms. Ten inhaled shakily, and then laughed.

"You're so smart." Lucas rubbed his back. "I love watching your mind go. I know you'll figure this out. The only scary part is not knowing if I'll be ejected in the process."

"No, Lucas, the scary part is knowing that that's no longer an option." Ten pulled back and looked at Lucas, wiping his eyes. "Whatever this is has got to see itself through. I mean, if you're down, of course."

Lucas's mouth tilted up, lopsided and beautiful as ever.

***

Jongin was wearing a tanktop and shorts.

Every time he pushed upwards, his back muscles rippled underneath tight spandex. Mark cursed under his breath.

"Push-ups should be outlawed in this state."

"I know, right," Taeyong said.

"We aren't even in America right now," Ten said.

"Sorry," Mark said. "I forgot."

The three of them were bobbing up and down on ellipticals. Jongin was doing a cross-fit routine on a mat in the corner. Taemin and Baekhyun were spotting each other with weights. One nice thing about Mark and Taeyong drooling interminably over Jongin was that Ten could look wherever he wanted without being noticed. Lucas was doing chin-ups next to the treadmills, and his shirt couldn't have been much looser than Jongin's.

"Have you guys noticed things with SuperM are kind of chill?" Taeyong asked.

Taemin stood up and stretched. Baekhyun towelled off his hair for him, and then pinched one of his nipples through his shirt. Taemin yelped.

"Yeah," Ten said. "I have."

"I think it's easier to let down your guard when you've already been chosen for something special," Mark said.

"And when you haven't grown up with half the people in the room," Taeyong said.

"I mean, I've known both of you for years," Ten said.

"Yeah, but we already know all of each other's dirty secrets," Mark said.

Taeyong's laugh was a little forced. Ten stared straight ahead, avoiding Mark's obvious gesticulating in Lucas's direction.

"Did you just point at Lucas with your tongue?" Taeyong asked.

"Better than pointing at him with something else, amirite Ten?"

Ten reached over and jabbed a button on Mark's elliptical until the incline was so steep his water bottle fell out of the holder onto the floor. It rolled under a treadmill and Ten pumped his fist in victory.

"It's also kind of temporary," Taeyong said. "It won't be long before our hyungs will have to join the military. I think it went to the left, Mark."

Mark was fishing around under the treadmill with one arm.

Lucas was doing squats with thirty pound weights.

"He's a lean boy," Mark said.

"Oh my god you need to stop." Ten covered his face with two hands.

Afterwards, they bought smoothies from the vendor next to the gym and stood outside, huddled like penguins, waiting for the van to arrive.

"Hyung, let me try yours."

Taeyong held his smoothie out to Mark. Mark sipped the straw, maintaining eye contact.

"Hmm." He grinned, licking his lips. "Tasty."

Taeyong made a little giggling sound at the back of his throat—a sound that Ten was actually not altogether unfamiliar with.

"Here," Mark said. "Try mine."

Taeyong reached up, scratching shyly at his ear, and then nodded. "Okay."

Taeyong's cool demeanour was always quick to return, but not quick enough to mask the subtleties from someone who knew him well. Ten stared at the two of them in shock, his eyes widening as his brain put several pieces together.

"What even is that?" Lucas asked.

"Matcha," Ten said, tearing himself away. "Powdered green tea and yoghurt."

"Time to get LIT," Mark said.

"What did you get, Hyung?"

"Banana-strawberry." Jongin held his drink out towards Ten. "Wanna try?"

Lucas, Taeyong, and Mark all stared at Ten in horror.

"Um."

"Don't do it, don't do it," Mark said, pushing Ten backwards. "I don't want you to puke everywhere."

"Bad idea," Taeyong said, waving his hands.

"He hates fruits," Lucas explained. "Like, all fruits. Even things with just a fruity flavour, like cheesecake."

"Some cheesecake has actual fruit in it, Lucas," Ten said.

Jongin and Baekhyun stared at them like they were insane. Taemin smiled politely. "How interesting."

"I'll try your smoothie, Hyung," Mark said.

Ten mouthed a silent _oh my god_ and turned around.

The sun was bright enough to make the cold air bearable. Most of them were wearing toques over their wet hair, but Ten had forgotten his at the hotel. He leaned back and felt his shoulder blades brush against something tall and muscled.

Lucas wrapped an arm around him from behind. Ten's heart took off like a startled rabbit.

"Are you cold?" Lucas pulled Ten's hood up. "There. That's better."

"Well geez," Ten said.

"Don't want you to catch a cold." Lucas started tightening the drawstrings.

"Lucas, it's fine—"

"No really, we need you healthy."

Ten's head fell backwards onto Lucas's shoulder in defeat. The drawstring was so tight it was making his lips squish out. Even their hyungs were cracking up.

They'd always messed around like this. All of them. It was part of the culture, but somehow, today, it felt as new as Ten's first day as a rookie.

He'd been good at that. Maybe he'd be good at this too.

"I can barely see," Ten complained.

"But in exchange, you look glorious," Mark said.

Lucas draped an arm across Ten's chest from behind, keeping him close.

His heart was racing. But that was alright.

He'd always loved that feeling. 

***

"Are we really doing this?" Ten asked.

"Shh," Mark said, adjusting the camera. "It's live."

"Oh." Ten straightened up and donned a smile. "Hello everyone."

The rest of SuperM waved at the camera.

"In case you're wondering why we're sitting around like this, we're about to play the I Love You game," Lucas said.

"And in case you're wondering why I was giving Mark a hard time at the beginning, I just wanted to make sure he really was comfortable getting decimated on Vlive before we started," Ten said.

There was a chorus of _oooooohs._

"So _competitive_ ," Taemin remarked.

"You should know he's never lost," Lucas said.

"We'll just have to see about that," Taemin said.

Taemin and Ten exchanged calm smiles.

"For anyone who doesn't know, the I Love You challenge is a game where the members try to make each other laugh or smile by telling each other they love them," Baekhyun explained to the camera. "Members have the option of saying no, in which case the confessor has to try again, either with the same person, or the person on their other side. If they accept the confession, it's their turn to try to make their members laugh. Either way, the member being confessed to has to keep an entirely straight face."

"Are you reading from a card?" Jongin asked.

"I did my research."

"I still can't believe you've never played this game," Mark said. "The guys from NCT play it like, constantly."

"That's telling," Taemin said.

"Okay, who's first?" Taeyong asked.

"I'll go," Jongin said, straightening up.

The seven of them were sitting around a table in the master suite in the hotel. The order was Baekhyun, Taeyong, Mark, Jongin, Taemin, Ten, Lucas. Jongin was sitting at the head of the table, directly opposite the camera.

He turned sweetly to Taemin. "I love you."

Taemin nodded vacantly. "Okay." He turned to Ten. "Hey Ten. I love you."

Ten shook his head. "Nope."

Taemin turned back to Jongin. "Kai-eee. I love you."

Jongin nodded in subdued acceptance, and turned around to face Mark.

Mark's eyes were so wide he looked like he was about to be ejected from a skydiving plane. Lucas made a weird snorting noise and bit his upper lip. Taeyong was staring rigidly at the surface of the table.

"Mark, sweet baby," Jongin growled in a sultry voice, running a hand down Mark's chest. " _I love you_."

"Holy shit," Mark screamed, and then burst into hysterical giggles.

The entire table made collective choking sounds.

"So wait, are we allowed to laugh when it isn't our turn?" Baekhyun asked shakily. "Like, as spectators?"

"You're only allowed to laugh once you've been eliminated," Taeyong said.

"Oh, great." Baekhyun glanced at Mark.

Mark was rocking back and forth, running a hand up and down the part of his chest that Jongin had touched. He looked at Ten and shrieked. Ten rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck.

"Okay," Jongin said. He turned back to Taemin, and dropped his voice so low it rumbled. "Taemin my sweet boy, I lurv you."

"Mm." Taemin turned to Ten, and widened his eyes in mock horror. "OH MY GOD TEN I LOVE YOU."

Ten nodded, and turned to Lucas.

Lucas stared at him with eyes so wide they were starting to water. Ten smiled endearingly and tilted his head to the side. "Lucas, I love you."

Mark yelled, "OH."

Ten would have kicked him under the table if he could’ve reached.

Lucas grunted, and turned gruffly to Baekhyun across the table.

"Wow, he didn't crack," Taeyong muttered.

The moment Lucas's eyes made contact with Baekhyun's, Baekhyun exploded into laughter.

"What on earth?" Taemin asked. "He didn't even say anything."

"D-did you see the look on his f-face?"

Baekhyun's deep, chesty laughter rattled through the room. Taeyong was trying so hard not to laugh he looked like he was in mourning.

"Hey, Taeyong-ssi," Lucas said, resting a hand on the table to get Taeyong's attention. Taeyong's eyes flickered up to his. Lucas stuck his lips out, making a kissy face. "I love you."

Maybe it was Mark's scream of panicked laughter to his left, or the fact that Lucas's expression had set Baekhyun off on another laughing jag, but Taeyong's face cracked into a big, maniacal grin.

"Oh damn," he said, covering his mouth.

"There he goes," Ten said.

"Lucas is cleaning up," Mark said.

Lucas straightened up, looking quite dignified. He pointed at Jongin. Jongin pointed back.

"Eyy sexy man, you there." Lucas winked. "I love you."

Jongin nodded expressionlessly and turned to Taemin. He appeared to be thinking. A moment later he stood up, propping a foot up on his chair. He glowered at Taemin lustfully, enunciating each word with a harsh pelvic thrust. "Tae. Min. Hyung. I. love. You."

Taemin stared at him for a long moment. Jongin stared back, no less passionately. After a moment Taemin made a weird giggling noise at the back of his throat.

"Oh my god," Taeyong said. "He broke!"

"I didn't smile!" Taemin exclaimed.

"It still counts." Mark shook his head solemnly. "Another one falls."

"Laughing without smiling." Baekhyun shook his head. "That's kind of weird."

"Are you calling me weird, Hyung?"

"You are weird." Baekhyun winked at Taemin. "But I like it."

Jongin's mouth wiggled precariously.

"Hey, no side banter," Lucas said.

"This side banter is the reason I failed," Taeyong said, pointing at Mark.

It was down to Jongin, Ten, and Lucas.

"I know how this is going to go," Mark said.

"Give us your predictions, Mark," Baekhyun said.

"Lucas is going to get eliminated and it's going to get stuck between Ten and Jongin-hyung until eternity."

Lucas was too busy performing deep breathing exercises to be offended.

"We'll have to come up with a way for them to settle the score."

"Something more interesting than rock paper scissors this time," Taeyong said, wriggling his eyebrows at Mark.

Mark stared back. It was obvious his mind was going to all kinds of weird places. Taeyong gave him a little shove, even though he'd been the one to suggest it.

"Ten." Jongin's foot was still propped up on his chair. He gave his hips an experimental twirl, running a hand down his chest. "I love you— _if you know what I mean._ "

Taemin covered his mouth, scandalized.

"Hyung," Mark shouted. "We're on vlive!"

Ten nodded. "I see." He turned to Lucas.

The room fell silent. Ten leaned back in his chair, fluttering his eyelashes. "Lucas. What am I supposed to do?" He sighed dramatically. "I love you."

The moment the words left his mouth he felt an ominous heat start to rise around his neck. Lucas, rather than laughing, looked puzzled, despite Mark and Baekhyun's snickering from across the table.

"Ten," Lucas said, entirely straight-faced. He reached out and rested his hand on Ten's thigh. "I love you."

Ten held his gaze. It was the only way to ignore the fact that the heat was creeping up his neck to his face. Maybe the colour wouldn't show up on vlive. Maybe the camera on Mark's phone sucked. Maybe there was no hope left on this earth and it was clear to everyone in the room that he was internally falling to pieces.

"Lucas." Was his voice too breathy to be an act—his smile too helpless? He spread his legs a little, and then cursed internally, having no clue in hell why he'd done that. He could feel the pressure of Lucas's palm shift towards his inner thigh. He swallowed, and then put on a weird voice—a half-hearted mixture of cutesy and bitchy. "I love you." 

"Did they forget about me?" Jongin asked.

"This happens sometimes," Mark whispered. "It's a showdown."

"Ten. No, wait." Lucas was stern. He leaned in, and in, and in, stopping just before their foreheads were touching. " _Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul_."

Ten's eyes went wide.

"I love you _._ "

Ten tucked his chin into his neck. The table watched him closely. He covered his mouth with a hand.

"He's smiling," Taemin said.

"He's _grinning_ ," Baekhyun said.

"And so is he!" Mark cried, pointing at Lucas.

Lucas was watching Ten closely. His face, somewhere along the line, had spread into a massive grin.

"Oh shit," Lucas said.

"YES," Jongin hollered, throwing both hands into the air.

Ten let his head drop backwards and groaned.

They ended the live not long after. Taemin and Jongin stuck around in Baekhyun's room, reminiscing talk show games of their time, and the four youngest trooped down the hall back to their rooms.

"That was epic," Mark said. "I can't believe Ten lost."

"You lost right away," Ten said.

"Oh, somebody's sore."

"Hey, Mark," Taeyong said casually. "Wanna come hang in my room for a bit?"

Mark nodded. "Sure."

Taeyong smiled. Ten met Taeyong's eye. Taeyong's face went blank. A grin started to creep its way onto Ten's face and Taeyong quickly vanished into his room.

"Alright, goodnight guys," Mark said. "I better get in there before he starts to worry. He's a worrysome type. A worrywart kind of dude, if you will."

He disappeared after Taeyong.

"What was _that_?" Lucas asked.

Ten hummed thoughtfully.

_Maybe not so forever alone after all_

"Those dorks..."

"What?"

"You," Ten exclaimed, spinning towards Lucas.

Lucas's eyes went wide.

"Don't think I'm done with _you_."

Ten grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shoved him against the wall.

"Making me lose." Ten's breath brushed over Lucas's neck. "You... conniving... bastard..."

"Sorry not sorry."

Lucas probably would've let him undress him in the hallway, cameras and security guards and hyungs and all, but Ten had other plans.

There was a furious removal of clothing inside the entranceway to Ten's room. The two of them crashed onto his bed a minute later. Ten untangled himself and pushed both of Lucas's wrists to the bed. Lucas's chest rose and fell with hurried breath.

"It's because of you." Ten sucked kisses down Lucas's neck. Lucas moaned softly. "It's because of you and your dastardly methods that I was humiliated—"

"I don't know what I did wrong." Lucas bucked against the bed as Ten sucked hard at his nipple. "I was only telling the truth."

Ten could feel himself starting to blush again.

"Is it true?" he challenged.

Lucas nodded.

"You love me?"

Lucas smiled. "It is," he said. "I love you."

It was a miracle that Ten's heart didn't stop.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well."

Ten's voice was soft, stripped entirely of its kick.

He kissed Lucas's mouth, and then the side of his face. Lucas pushed up, grinding his bare cock against Ten's inner thigh, and Ten moaned.

"It's okay," Lucas said. "You don't have to say it back."

Ten believed him.

When Lucas was exhausted from a week of back-to-back shows and flights, he didn't try to hold his head high for the cameras. He frowned. He was quiet, and sometimes he even cried. When he really liked something, he got excited. He wasn't afraid to say what he meant.

His heart was as open as it was fearless.

"But..." Ten whispered against Lucas's lips. "I kind of want to."

He felt Lucas smile.

"I don't know what life is."

"Holy fuck, neither do I."

Ten inhaled deeply. "I love you."

"See?" Lucas patted his back. "That wasn't so hard."

"I'm going to smack you."

"Oh my ass, please. Nice and hard if you can."

"I bet I could fuck that smirk right off of your silly face."

Lucas nodded fervently. "Do it. Please?"

Ten wanted to laugh. He wanted to throw himself on the floor and writhe mindlessly for an hour. He wanted to dance, and create art, and write songs. He wanted to gaze at Lucas through love-drunk eyes, to hold Lucas's hands and kiss him until his jaw hurt.

One of Ten's hands was tangled in Lucas's hair. Lucas's knees brushed against the sides of his waist. Ten moved inside him, pushing their foreheads together. Lucas's eyes rolled underneath closed lids. He whispered little nonsensical sounds through full, pink, kissed-out lips.

Ten wanted Lucas.

He wanted to want this boy who wanted him back, and for once in his life, he decided to follow Taeyong's advice, and get out of his own way, and to let himself do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it!  
> I may continue this series if I feel inspired. If you'd like more chapters let me know! Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter and instagram: @vanishedelf


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